Promise Me You'll Never Give Up
by Tlingit Storyteller
Summary: There's a little bit of darkness in all of us, and we deal with it every day, in one way or another. Lex Luthor doesn't understand why Superman still fights it. COMPLETE, SEQUEL PENDING


Last episode seen: Ryan

Status: One-shot

Spoilers: Season Two, Episode Eight (Ryan)

DISCLAIMER: I can call a doctor if you believe I own Smallville or Superman.

**Promise Me You'll Never Give Up**

Superman's thoughts were elsewhere even as Lex Luthor shot laser beams at him. Memories plagued him.

**Flashback**

_Clark stood in the hot-air balloon with Ryan, trying to keep his mind off of how high up he was. He was also trying not to think about Ryan's impending death._

_"I don't want you to be angry or sad, Clark. You changed my life. You're gonna change a lot of other lives," Ryan had said, breaking the silence. His brown eyes had bored into Clark's own green ones in desperation to make him understand._

_After a few seconds of silence, Ryan demanded, "Promise me you'll never give up."_

_Clark just stared into Ryan's eyes, searching out the reason for this strange request. Finally, he said quietly, "I promise." Clark wrapped his arms around the kid, partly because he wanted to hug him one more time, and partly to hide his tears. Ryan thought of him as a hero. That made Ryan happy, and Clark wanted to keep it that way. He could cry all he wanted later, when he was alone. But not here, not now. Heroes didn't cry._

**End Flashback**

One of the beams hit Superman while he was lost in memories. Unfortuantely, the beams _could_ and did hurt him.

Energy can be drawn from crystals. Lex Luthor had taken this fact of science and twisted it to suit him. He had used crystals of kryptonite and drawn the energy from them, then turned that energy against his foe, Superman.

The man of steel was down.

His skin weakened, softened up by the kryptonite energy he'd been hit with, the needle pierced right through the skin of Superman's arm. Then everything went black.

**About twelve hours later**

Superman woke up in a room that felt familiar. As he sat up, it hit him. He was in the library of the Luthor mansion in Smallville. Back when life was a little less complicated and a lot happier, he had been here so many times. This room had a cozy atmosphere, perfect for cold winter nights. The soft glow of the flames dancing in the fireplace lent even more warmth to the soft, rich red carpet. Deep colored woods made up the shelves, tables and mantlepiece in the room. Two big comfy armchairs lent a homey sense, and Superman was laying on the big comfy sofa. He quickly looked around the room for any sign of the harmless-looking green rocks that were the bane of his existence.

There was no kryptonite in this room.

Instead, he was greeted with a quiet hello by Lex, who was standing in a corner with a book. Something in Latin, judging by the title Superman knew he'd never be able to pronounce.

Glaring at his best-friend-turned-arch-nemesis, Superman demanded coldly, "Why have you brought me here?"

Lex sighed heavily. "Clark-"

"DON'T. Call me that. You lost that right when you stopped being my friend."

The villian looked down for a moment, to hide the pain and shame in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

For five long minutes, silence reigned supreme.

Thoughts ran rampant through Superman's mind. _That's the first time Lex has apologized for anything in the past what- thirteen years? Yeah. But what brought this on? Is this a trick? Does he have kryptonite hidden somewhere? Is he sincere? No, he always has an ulterior motive. But how does he plan to accomplish anything without kryptonite?_

Lex broke through his thoughts with, "I never wanted to be like this." When Superman didn't respond with anger, he chanced the near-peace between them with, "You know that."

Superman finally looked up at Lex. Perplexity registered on the alien hero's features as he argued, "But you gave up. You stopped fighting it."

The 'it' Superman spoke of was the darkness that had been bred in Lex by Lionel Luthor. That darkness had been nurtured by the death of Lex's mother, the abandonment of Rachel Levy, who'd been like a second mother to him. Later, the many ex-wives who had betrayed Lex had taken their turn helping to put out the light within him. Eventually it had overcome him and when Clark Kent's lack of faith in him had been the deciding factor. The light was gone, leaving the Darkness to waste away the defenseless young man.

Lex looked away. He would make no excuses for himself. Still not meeting the eyes of his former friend, he whispered, "Why do you fight it? You know as well as I do what a farce love and friendship are. All our supposed friends have betrayed us, my father and both your parents have disowned us before they died. All the women we've fallen in love with have eventually betrayed us. Even Lois, with her recent marraige to Eric Summers, has abandoned you. Why do you fight it?"

Superman's answer was slow to come, as he was lost in a memory.

**Flashback**

_Clark Kent choked down his tears. It was his twenty-second birthday, and he felt like an early death would be the best gift._

_He had been dating Lana for five years. She'd been wearing his engagement ring for two years. Whenever he brought up the subject of marriage, she changed the topic of discussion. He figured she was nervous about commitment and needed more time. Today she had strided up to him with a purpose, hand-in-hand with a man that Clark didn't recognize._

_She cut him off before he could even think of what to say. "Look Clark, for over a year now I've wanted to break it off with you. I just didn't want to hurt you. But I've met someone else. Please understand. I'm so sorry it couldn't work out for us."_

_Dumbfounded, he struggled for something to say. Finally his muddled brain settled on the most peaceable, least blubbering reply it could find. "Uh, y-yeah, I guess."_

_Lana smiled sympathetically. "Thanks, Clark. You're a sweet guy. I know you'll find the right girl soon."_

_Clark had smiled weakly and nodded. Then Lana Lang had walked out of his life. Within a week of the break-up he decided he couldn't handle the heartbreak anymore and turned to the Kryptonian equivalent of crack: red kryptonite. He crushed it up and slipped a miniscule amount into a drink, or sprinkled it on his food._

_At first he just took a little, once in a while, to numb his aching heart. Such small amounts didn't turn him into a badboy, just made him a little more hotheaded. Gradually though, the addiction took hold and he began to take more and more. Eventually he took enough to block out his conscience, and he killed Lana's new boyfriend in cold blood. No one had been around, but his parent had searched his room because he'd been acting so strangely. They'd found the red meteor rocks and guessed who had killed Lana's boyfriend. They had promptly disowned him and thrown him out._

_He went cold turkey on the red rocks, but his parents never spoke to him again._

**End Flashback**

Superman snapped out of it and answered slowly, "The _only_ reason I bother to fight it anymore is because I promised Ryan I'd never give up."

The older man was respectfully silent for a moment. Then he said quietly, "I want to fight it. I'm not trying to make excuses, but it's hard, when no one believes I can overcome this- this monster inside me, Superman."

Superman looked up at him, meeting Lex's eyes for the first time since he'd woken up in the Luthor mansion. "It's Clark."

Fin.


End file.
